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?‰mile, 1836-1873

"The Widow Lerouge"

Under the pretext that I should be in the way of the
children, I installed myself in a chair near the bed, determined not to
shut my eyes, and to keep close watch. I put out the candle, in order to
let the women sleep, though I could not think of doing so myself; and I
thought of my father, and of what he would say, if he ever heard of my
behaviour. Towards midnight, I heard Claudine moving. I held my breath.
She was getting out of bed. Was she going to change the children? Now,
I knew that she was not; then, I felt sure that she was. I was beside
myself, and seizing her by the arm, I commenced to beat her roughly,
giving free vent to all that I had on my heart. I spoke in a loud voice,
the same as when I am on board ship in a storm; I swore like a fiend, I
raised a frightful disturbance. The other nurse cried out as though she
were being murdered. At this uproar, Germain rushed in with a lighted
candle. The sight of him finished me. Not knowing what I was doing, I
drew from my pocket a long Spanish knife, which I always carried, and
seizing the cursed bastard, I thrust the blade through his arm, crying,
'This way, at least, he can't be changed without my knowing it; he is
marked for life!'"
Lerouge could scarcely utter another word.


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