She wrote: "I have had a very urgent business letter, saying that the
lyceums of different towns were making up their engagements, and that
if I were going into it I must make my engagements now. It seems to me
that I cannot do this. The thing will depend so much on my health and
ability to do. You know I could not go round in cold weather.... I
feel entirely uncertain, and, as the Yankees say, 'didn't know what to
do nor to don't. My state in regard to it may be described by the
phrase 'Kind o' love to--hate to--wish I didn't--want ter.' I suppose
the result will be I shall not work into their lecture system."
In April she wrote from Mandarin: "I am painting a _Magnolia
grandiflora,_ which I will show you.... I am appalled by finding
myself booked to read. But I am getting well and strong, and trust to
be equal to the emergency. But I shrink from Tremont Temple, and--does
not think I can fill it. On the whole I should like to begin in
Boston." And in August she said: "I am to begin in Boston in
September.... It seems to me that is a little too early for Boston,
isn't it? Will there be anybody in town then? I don't know as it's my
business, which is simply to speak my piece and take my money."
Her first reading actually took place in Springfield, not Boston, and
the next day she unexpectedly arrived at our cottage at Manchester-by-
the-Sea. She had read the previous evening in a large public hall, had
risen at five o'clock that morning, and found her way to us.
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