D. B. Well, K. D. B., she's prim. Let's have her prim,
and proud of using correct, precise, 'elegant' language. I guess
she wears mits, and believes in cremation. Let's have her believe
in cremation. And Captain Jack; oh! he's got a terrible voice,
like this, ROW-ROW-ROW see? and whiskers, very fierce; and he
says, 'Belay there!' and 'Avast!' and is very grandiloquent and
orotund and gallant when it comes to women. Oh, he's the devil of
a man when it comes to women, is Captain Jack!"
After countless trials and failures, they evolved the two
following missives, which Condy posted that night:
"Captain Jack.
"SIR:--I have perused with entire satisfaction your personal in
'The Times.' I should like to know more of you. I read between
the lines, and my perception ineradicably convinces me that you
are honest and respectable. I do not believe I should compromise
my self-esteem at all in granting you an interview. I shall be at
Luna's restaurant at seven precisely, next Monday eve, and will
bear a bunch of white marguerites. Will you likewise, and wear a
marguerite in your lapel?
"Trusting this will find you in health, I am
"Respectfully yours,
"K. D. B."
"Miss K. D. B.
"DEAR MISS:--From the modest and retiring description of your
qualities and character, I am led to believe that I will find in
you an agreeable life companion. Will you not accord me the great
favor of a personal interview? I shall esteem it a high honor.
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