In my place, you would have seen him sinking, hour by
hour; and you would have risked anything, rather than let the one man on
earth who had befriended you, die before your eyes. Don't suppose that
I had no sense of the terrible position in which I had placed myself!
There were moments when I felt all the misery of my friendlessness, all
the peril of my dreadful responsibility. If I had been a happy man, if I
had led a prosperous life, I believe I should have sunk under the task I
had imposed on myself. But I had no happy time to look back at, no past
peace of mind to force itself into contrast with my present anxiety and
suspense--and I held firm to my resolution through it all. I took an
interval in the middle of the day, when my patient's condition was at
its best, for the repose I needed. For the rest of the four-and-twenty
hours, as long as his life was in danger, I never left his bedside.
Towards sunset, as usual in such cases, the delirium incidental to
the fever came on. It lasted more or less through the night; and then
intermitted, at that terrible time in the early morning--from two
o'clock to five--when the vital energies even of the healthiest of us
are at their lowest.
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