"
"Yes?"
"And, suppose, in spite of all that--you couldn't tear her from your
heart? Suppose the feeling she had roused in you (in the time when you
believed in her) was not a feeling to be hidden? Suppose the love this
wretch had inspired in you? Oh, how can I find words to say it in! How
can I make a MAN understand that a feeling which horrifies me at myself,
can be a feeling that fascinates me at the same time? It's the breath
of my life, Godfrey, and it's the poison that kills me--both in one!
Go away! I must be out of my mind to talk as I am talking now. No! you
mustn't leave me--you mustn't carry away a wrong impression. I must say
what is to be said in my own defence. Mind this! HE doesn't know--he
never will know, what I have told you. I will never see him--I don't
care what happens--I will never, never, never see him again! Don't ask
me his name! Don't ask me any more! Let's change the subject. Are you
doctor enough, Godfrey, to tell me why I feel as if I was stifling for
want of breath? Is there a form of hysterics that bursts into words
instead of tears? I dare say! What does it matter? You will get over any
trouble I have caused you, easily enough now.
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