I give them half of what I have, and
forgive their evil speeches. As a fire-stick is grinded by a person
desirous of obtaining fire, even so my heart is ground by my kinsmen with
their cruel speeches. Indeed, O celestial Rishi, those cruel speeches
burn my heart every day. Might resides in Sankarshana; mildness in Gada;
and as regards Pradyumna, he surpasses even myself in beauty of person.
(Although I have all these on my side) yet I am helpless, O Narada! Many
others among the Andhakas and the Vrishnis are possessed of great
prosperity and might, and during courage and constant perseverance. He on
whose side they do not range themselves meets with destruction. He, on
the other hand, on whose side they do range themselves, achieves
everything. Dissuaded (in turns) by both (viz., Ahuka and Akrura,) I do
not side either of them. What can be more painful for a person than to
have both Ahuka and Akrura on his side? What, again, can be more painful
for one than not to have both of them on his side?[242] I am like the
mother of two brothers gambling against each other, invoking victory to
both. I am thus, O Narada, afflicted by both. It behoveth thee to tell me
that which is for the good of both myself and my kinsmen.'
"Narada said, 'Calamities, O Krishna, are of two kinds, viz., external
and internal. They arise, O thou of Vrishni's race, from one's own acts
or from the acts of others. The calamity that has now overtaken thee is
an internal one and is born of thy own acts.
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