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Irving, Washington, 1783-1859

"The Sketch-Book of Geoffrey Crayon"

This is a noisy, rattle-pated fellow, of rather low
habits, who neglects his business to frequent ale-houses--is the
orator of village clubs and a complete oracle among the poorest
of his father's tenants. No sooner does he hear any of his
brothers mention reform or retrenchment than up he jumps, takes
the words out of their mouths, and roars out for an overturn.
When his tongue is once going nothing can stop it. He rants about
the room; hectors the old man about his spendthrift practices;
ridicules his tastes and pursuits; insists that he shall turn the
old servants out of doors, give the broken-down horses to the
hounds, send the fat chaplain packing, and take a field-preacher
in his place; nay, that the whole family mansion shall be
levelled with the ground, and a plain one of brick and mortar
built in its place. He rails at every social entertainment and
family festivity, and skulks away growling to the ale-house
whenever an equipage drives up to the door. Though constantly
complaining of the emptiness of his purse, yet he scruples not to
spend all his pocket-money in these tavern convocations, and even
runs up scores for the liquor over which he preaches about his
father's extravagance.


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