In the
privacy of my own room, I wept like a child over the wreck of the
being I had left so beautiful and perfect, though even then the canker
of doubt had begun to take root. I had yet her explanations to hear,
and resolved to command myself so far as to receive them in a manner
not to increase the pain Grace must feel in making them. As soon as
sufficiently calm, I sat down to write letters. One was to Marble. I
desired him to let the second-mate see the ship discharged, and to
come up to me by the return of the sloop. I wished to see him in
person, as I did not think I could be able to go out in the vessel on
her next voyage, and I intended him to sail in her as master. It was
necessary we should consult together personally. I did not conceal the
reason of this determination, though I said nothing of the cause of my
sister's state. Marble had a list of physicians given him, and he was
to bring up with him the one he could obtain, commencing with the
first named, and following in the order given. I had earned ten
thousand dollars, nett, by the labours of the past year, and I
determined every dollar of it should be devoted to obtaining the best
advice the country then afforded. I had sent for such men as Hosack,
Post, Bayley, M'Knight, Moore, &c.; and even thought of endeavouring
to procure Rush from Philadelphia, but was deterred from making the
attempt by the distance, and the pressing nature of the emergency.
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