Many of the officers and men of the
Crisis left behind them orders with their wives and families to
receive their wages, in part, during their absence, as letters from
time to time apprised the owners that these people were on board, and
in discharge of their several duties. I determined on giving Rupert
the benefit of such an arrangement. First presenting him with twenty
dollars from my own little store, I took him with me to the
counting-house, and succeeded, though not without some difficulty, in
obtaining for my friend a credit of twenty dollars a-month, promising
faithfully to repay any balance that might arise against me in
consequence of the loss of the ship, or of any accident to
myself. This I was enabled to do on the strength of my credit as the
owner of Clawbonny; for, as is usual in these cases, I passed for
being much richer than I really was, though far from being poor.
I will acknowledge that, while I felt no reluctance at making this
arrangement in favour of Rupert, I felt mortified he should accept
it. There are certain acts we may all wish to perform, and, yet, which
bring regrets when successfully performed. I was sorry that _my_
friend, Lucy's brother, Grace's admirer--for I was quick enough in
perceiving that Rupert began to entertain fancies of that sort--had
not pride enough to cause him to decline receiving money which must be
earned by the sweat of my brow, and this, moreover, in a mode of life
he had not himself sufficient resolution to encounter a second
time.
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