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Collins, Wilkie, 1824-1889

"After Dark"

I alone have found
the answer; and here it is!" He fixed his dazzling eyes on me in
triumph, and smacked the piles of manuscript fiercely with both
his sallow hands.
I saw that he was waiting for me to say something; so I asked if
his great work had not cost a vast expenditure of time and pains.
"I am seventy, sir," said the Professor; "and I began preparing
myself for that book at twenty. After mature consideration, I
have written it in English (having three other foreign languages
at my fingers' ends), as a substantial proof of my gratitude to
the nation that has given me an asylum. Perhaps you think the
work looks rather long in its manuscript state? It will occupy
twelve volumes, sir, and it is not half long enough, even then,
for the subject. I take two volumes (and no man could do it in
less) to examine the theories of all the philosophers in the
world, ancient and modern, on the Vital Principle. I take two
more (and little enough) to scatter every one of the theories,
_seriatim_, to the winds. I take two more (at the risk, for
brevity's sake, of doing things by halves) to explain the exact
stuff, or vital compound, of which the first man and woman in the
world were made--calling them Adam and Eve, out of deference to
popular prejudices. I take two more--but you are standing all
this time, Mr. Kerby; and I am talking instead of sitting for my
portrait.


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