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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Getting Married"


MRS GEORGE [looking after him triumphantly] Just caught the dear
old warrior on the bounce, eh?
HOTCHKISS. Unfaithful to me already!
MRS GEORGE. I'm not your property, young man dont you think it.
[She goes over to him and faces him]. You understand that? [He
suddenly snatches her into his arms and kisses her]. Oh! You.
dare do that again, you young blackguard; and I'll jab one of
these chairs in your face [she seizes one and holds it in
readiness]. Now you shall not see me for another month.
HOTCHKISS [deliberately] I shall pay my first visit to your
husband this afternoon.
MRS GEORGE. Youll see what he'll say to you when I tell him what
youve just done.
HOTCHKISS. What can he say? What dare he say?
MRS GEORGE. Suppose he kicks you out of the house?
HOTCHKISS. How can he? Ive fought seven duels with sabres. Ive
muscles of iron. Nothing hurts me: not even broken bones.
Fighting is absolutely uninteresting to me because it doesnt
frighten me or amuse me; and I always win. Your husband is in all
these respects an average man, probably. He will be horribly
afraid of me; and if under the stimulus of your presence, and for
your sake, and because it is the right thing to do among vulgar
people, he were to attack me, I should simply defeat him and
humiliate him [he gradually gets his hands on the chair and takes
it from her, as his words go home phrase by phrase].


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