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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Getting Married"


THE BISHOP. Then produce her. [Collins shakes his head].Come,
Collins! confess. Theres no such person.
COLLINS. There is, my lord: there is, I assure you. You ask
George. It's true I cant produce her; but you can, my lord.
THE BISHOP. I!
COLLINS. Yes, my lord, you. For some reason that I never could
make out, she has forbidden me to talk about you, or to let her
meet you. Ive asked her to come here of a wedding morning to help
with the flowers or the like; and she has always refused. But if
you order her to come as her Bishop, she'll come. She has some
very strange fancies, has Mrs George. Send your ring to her, my
lord--he official ring--send it by some very stylish gentleman--
perhaps Mr Hotchkiss here would be good enough to take it--and
she'll come.
THE BISHOP [taking off his ring and handing it to Hotchkiss]
Oblige me by undertaking the mission.
HOTCHKISS. But how am I to know the lady?
COLLINS. She has gone to the church in state, sir, and will be
attended by a Beadle with a mace. He will point her out to you;
and he will take the front seat of the carriage on the way back.
HOTCHKISS. No, by heavens! Forgive me, Bishop; but you are asking
too much. I ran away from the Boers because I was a snob.


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