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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Getting Married"

I dont defend Reginald. He should have kicked you
out of the house, Mr. Hotchkiss.
REGINALD [rising] How could I kick him out of the house? He's
stronger than me: he could have kicked me out if it came to that.
He did kick me out: what else was it but kicking out, to take my
wife's affections from me and establish himself in my place? [He
comes to the hearth].
HOTCHKISS. I protest, Reginald, I said all that a man could to
prevent the smash.
REGINALD. Oh, I know you did: I dont blame you: people dont do
these things to one another: they happen and they cant be helped.
What was I to do? I was old: she was young. I was dull: he was
brilliant. I had a face like a walnut: he had a face like a
mushroom. I was as glad to have him in the house as she was: he
amused me. And we were a couple of fools: he gave us good advice
--told us what to do when we didnt know. She found out that I
wasnt any use to her and he was; so she nabbed him and gave me
the chuck.
LEO. If you dont stop talking in that disgraceful way about our
married life, I'll leave the room and never speak to you again.
REGINALD. Youre not going to speak to me again, anyhow, are you?
Do you suppose I'm going to visit you when you marry him?
HOTCHKISS.


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