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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Getting Married"


LEO [following Lesbia out] Yes, certainly.
The Bishop goes over to his wife and sits down, taking her hand
and kissing it by way of beginning a conversation with her.
THE BISHOP. Alice: Ive had another letter from the mysterious
lady who cant spell. I like that woman's letters. Theres an
intensity of passion in them that fascinates me.
MRS BRIDGENORTH. Do you mean Incognita Appassionata?
THE BISHOP. Yes.
THE GENERAL [turning abruptly; he has been looking out into the
garden] Do you mean to say that women write love-letters to you?
THE BISHOP. Of course.
THE GENERAL. They never do to me.
THE BISHOP. The army doesnt attract women: the Church does.
REGINALD. Do you consider it right to let them? They may be
married women, you know.
THE BISHOP. They always are. This one is. [To Mrs Bridgenorth]
Dont you think her letters are quite the best love-letters I get?
[To the two men] Poor Alice has to read my love-letters aloud to
me at breakfast, when theyre worth it.
MRS BRIDGENORTH. There really is something fascinating about
Incognita. She never gives her address. Thats a good sign.
THE GENERAL. Mf! No assignations, you mean?
THE Bishop. Oh yes: she began the correspondence by making a very
curious but very natural assignation.


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