Take for example the famous
case of Nelson and Sir William and Lady Hamilton. The secret of
this household of three was not only that both the husband and
Nelson were devoted to Lady Hamilton, but that they were also
apparently devoted to one another. When Hamilton died both Nelson
and Emma seem to have been equally heartbroken. When there is a
successful household of one man and two women the same unusual
condition is fulfilled: the two women not only cannot live happily
without the man but cannot live happily without each other. In
every other case known to me, either from observation or record,
the experiment is a hopeless failure: one of the two rivals for
the really intimate affection of the third inevitably drives out
the other. The driven-out party may accept the situation and
remain in the house as a friend to save appearances, or for the
sake of the children, or for economic reasons; but such an
arrangement can subsist only when the forfeited relation is no
longer really valued; and this indifference, like the triple bond
of affection which carried Sir William Hamilton through, is so
rare as to be practicably negligible in the establishment of a
conventional morality of marriage. Therefore sensible and
experienced people always assume that when a declaration of love
is made to an already married person, the declaration binds the
parties in honor never to see one another again unless they
contemplate divorce and remarriage.
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