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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Captain Brassbound's Conversion"

As I understand it, he tried to smuggle Sir Howrrd
through under this compact, and the Sheikh found him out.
DRINKWATER. Rawt, gavner. Thet's jest ah it wors. The Kepn--
REDBROOK (again suppressing him). Shut up, you fool, I tell you.
SIR HOWARD (to Rankin). May I ask have you had any conversation
with Lady Cicely on this subject?
RANKIN (naively). Yes. (Sir Howard qrunts emphatically, as who
should say "I thought so." Rankin continues. addressing the court)
May I say how sorry I am that there are so few chairs, Captain and
gentlemen.
KEARNEY (with genial American courtesy). Oh, THAT's all right, Mr.
Rahnkin. Well, I see no harm so far: it's human fawlly, but not
human crime. Now the counsel for the prosecution can proceed to
prosecute. The floor is yours, Lady Waynflete.
LADY CICELY (rising). I can only tell you the exact truth--
DRINKWATER (involuntarily). Naow, down't do thet, lidy--
REDBROOK (as before). SHUT up, you fool, will you?
LADY CICELY. We had a most delightful trip in the hills; and
Captain Brassbound's men could not have been nicer--I must say
that for them--until we saw a tribe of Arabs--such nice looking
men!--and then the poor things were frightened.
KEARNEY. The Arabs?
LADY CICELY. No: Arabs are never frightened. The escort, of
course: escorts are always frightened. I wanted to speak to the
Arab chief; but Captain Brassbound cruelly shot his horse; and the
chief shot the Count; and then--
KEARNEY.


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