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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Captain Brassbound's Conversion"


KEARNEY. Stranger still, Lady Waynflete, he is not forbidden to
take any other lady. Yours is an extraordinairy country--to an
Amerrican.
LADY CICELY. But it's most serious, Captain. The poor men go
melancholy mad, and ram each other's ships and do all sorts of
things.
SIR HOWARD. Cicely: I beg you will not talk nonsense to Captain
Kearney. Your ideas on some subjects are really hardly decorous.
LADY CICELY (to Kearney). That's what English people are like,
Captain Kearney. They won't hear of anything concerning you poor
sailors except Nelson and Trafalgar. YOU understand me, don't you?
KEARNEY (gallantly). I cawnsider that you have more sense in your
wedding ring finger than the British Ahdmiralty has in its whole
cawnstitootion, Lady Waynflete.
LADY CICELY. Of course I have. Sailors always understand things.
The bluejacket reappears.
BLUEJACKET (to Lady Cicely). Prisoners coming up the hill, marm.
KEARNEY (turning sharply on him). Who sent you in to say that?
BLUEJACKET (calmly). British lady's orders, sir. (Hs goes out,
unruffled, leaving Kearney dumbfounded.)
SIR HOWARD (contemplating Kearney's expression with dismay). I am
really very sorry, Captain Kearney. I am quite aware that Lady
Cicely has no right whatever to give orders to your men.
LADY CICELY. I didn't give orders: I just asked him. He has such a
nice face! Don't you think so, Captain Kearney? (He gasps,
speechless.


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