I don't think, Cicely, that my dear
wife would misunderstand me.
LADY CICELY. No: SHE'D know you mean well. And when you came home
and said, "Mary: I've just told all the world that your
sister-in-law was a police court criminal, and that I sent her to
prison; and your nephew is a brigand, and I'm sending HIM to
prison" she'd have thought it must be all right because you did
it. But you don't think she would have LIKED it, any more than
papa and the rest of us, do you?
SIR HOWARD (appalled). But what am I to do? Do you ask me to
compound a felony?
LADY CICELY (sternly). Certainly not. I would not allow such a
thing, even if you were wicked enough to attempt it. No. What I
say is, that you ought not to tell the story yourself
SIR HOWARD. Why?
LADY CICELY. Because everybody would say you are such a clever
lawyer you could make a poor simple sailor like Captain Kearney
believe anything. The proper thing for you to do, Howard, is to
let ME tell the exact truth. Then you can simply say that you are
bound to confirm me. Nobody can blame you for that.
SIR HOWARD (looking suspiciously at her). Cicely: you are up to
some devilment.
LADY CICELY (promptly washing her hands of his interests). Oh,
very well. Tell the story yourself, in your own clever way. I only
proposed to tell the exact truth. You call that devilment. So it
is, I daresay, from a lawyer's point of view.
SIR HOWARD. I hope you're not offended.
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