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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Captain Brassbound's Conversion"

Drinkwater turns and receives them with
jocular ceremony.) Weolcome to Brarsbahnd Cawstl, Sr Ahrd an
lidy. This eah is the corfee and commercial room.
Sir Howard goes to the table and sits on the saddle, rather
exhausted. Lady Cicely comes to Drinkwater.
LADY CICELY. Where is Marzo's bed?
DRINKWATER. Is bed, lidy? Weoll: e ynt petickler, lidy. E ez is
chawce of henny flegstown agin thet wall.
They deposit Marzo on the flags against the wall close to the
little door. He groans. Johnson phlegmatically leaves him and
joins Redbrook.
LADY CICELY. But you can't leave him there in that state.
DRINKWATER. Ow: e's hall rawt. (Strolling up callously to Marzo)
You're hall rawt, ynt yer, Mawtzow? (Marzo whimpers.) Corse y'aw.
LADY CICELY (to Sir Howard). Did you ever see such a helpless lot
of poor creatures? (She makes for the little door.)
DRINKWATER. Eah! (He runs to the door and places himself before
it.) Where mawt yr lidyship be gowin?
LADY CICELY. I'm going through every room in this castle to find
a proper place to put that man. And now I'll tell you where
YOU'RE going. You're going to get some water for Marzo, who is
very thirsty. And then, when I've chosen a room for him, you're
going to make a bed for him there.
DRINKWATER (sarcastically). Ow! Henny ather little suvvice? Mike
yrseolf at owm, y' knaow, lidy.
LADY CICELY (considerately). Don't go if you'd rather not, Mr.
Drinkwater.


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