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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Captain Brassbound's Conversion"

Rankin! But we've
had some already on board the yacht. And I've arranged everything
with your servants; so you must go on gardening just as if we
were not here.
SIR HOWARD. I am sorry to have to warn you, Mr. Rankin, that Lady
Cicely, from travelling in Africa, has acquired a habit of
walking into people's houses and behaving as if she were in her
own.
LADY CICELY. But, my dear Howard, I assure you the natives like
it.
RANKIN (gallantly). So do I.
LADY CICELY (delighted). Oh, that is so nice of you, Mr. Rankin.
This is a delicious country! And the people seem so good! They
have such nice faces! We had such a handsome Moor to carry our
luggage up! And two perfect pets of Krooboys! Did you notice
their faces, Howard?
SIR HOWARD. I did; and I can confidently say, after a long
experience of faces of the worst type looking at me from the
dock, that I have never seen so entirely villainous a trio as
that Moor and the two Krooboys, to whom you gave five dollars
when they would have been perfectly satisfied with one.
RANKIN (throwing up his hands). Five dollars! 'Tis easy to see
you are not Scotch, my leddy.
LADY CICELY. Oh, poor things, they must want it more than we do;
and you know, Howard, that Mahometans never spend money in drink.
RANKIN. Excuse me a moment, my leddy. I have a word in season to
say to that same Moor. (He goes into the house.)
LADY CICELY (walking about the garden, looking at the view and at
the flowers).


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