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Runciman, James, 1852-1891

"The Chequers Being the Natural History of a Public-House, Set Forth in a Loafer's Diary"

In tracing the
natural history of a public-house I have found the respectable dullards
the most revolting of my subjects.
But the mere fact that our one wretched hole is stupid and sometimes
revolting by no means proves that all other places are of the same sort.
I know one quiet, cleanly room where many smart young fellows go; their
trade compels them to be decorous, and you see nothing but courtesy, and
hear much good-natured and sensible chat.
The riverside 'Arry is always an awful being, but the gentle, respectful
lad who takes his lemonade and enjoys himself in German fashion is nice
company. I have seen all sorts, and, while I would gladly burst a
13-inch shell in such a cankered doghole as The Chequers, I am bound to
say that there are a few cosy, harmless places whereof the loss would be
a calamity.
* * * * *
I grow weary now, and often at nights, when the vast shadow of the lamp
shudders on the ceiling and the wind moans hoarsely outside, I fall back
in sheer luxury on the fine, straight, cut-and-thrust of old Boswell's
conversations as a relief from the slavering babble which I often hear.


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