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Runciman, James, 1852-1891

"The Chequers Being the Natural History of a Public-House, Set Forth in a Loafer's Diary"

' He
says, 'Done with you,' and we staked. When I sees my pony walking
gingerly, I made as if I was took aback. He saw the same thing, and
says, 'Pony's wrong.' 'Yes,' says I, 'worse luck.' He says, 'I lay you
L50 to L30 I beat you.' I says, 'You have me at a disadvantage, sir, but
I'm on,' and I pulls out my three tenners. Then Sammy got the flint out,
and we went into the road. I let him go away, and after we'd done five
mile he waves and cries good-bye. I never hustled my cob, for I found I
could go by when I liked. Two mile from Dorking I gives the cob his
head. Lord love you, he can do seventeen inside the hour, and he left
that juggins as if he was standing still. When he drove up at Dorking,
he says, 'You're a red-hot member!' and, by God, I think I am!"
This interesting yarn was received with rapture, and a remarkably strong
anecdote of a lady and her footman fell flat, much to Mr. Preston's
disgust. Then came the hour for personalities. As the drink takes effect
our parlour customers attempt satire, and their efforts are always of a
strongly personal nature.


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