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Runciman, James, 1852-1891

"The Chequers Being the Natural History of a Public-House, Set Forth in a Loafer's Diary"

Suppose you're ignorant; well, there you sit; and what are you?
You're nobody. No, I approve of edgication--it improves the mind. It
does undoubtedly improve the mind. Look now at this Randolph Churchill
that's come to the front. What is it but edgication that brought him
forward? I should venture to say he's a learned man, and knows lots of
languages and sciences, else how'd he shut up such a wonderful orator as
Gladstone? We all know as old Beaky was edgicated. Look at his books.
How'd he write a book without it? I began "Cohningsby," and, I tell you,
it's grand--sublime. No, friend B., I think you must give in I'm
right."
"And I think you're a lot of ---- fools."
This interruption came from the devout Billy--Billy Preston. That pious
man liked to have the talk mainly to himself, and he thought that
anything not obscene was tame. By the way, these abrupt and insolent
remarks are characteristic of public-house wit. A favourite joke is to
ask a friend a serious question. When he fails to answer, then the joker
shouts some totally irrelevant and indecent word, and the questioned man
is regarded as "sold.


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