Despondency rarely visited my heart; a high destiny seemed to bear me
on, until I fell, never, never again to rise." Must I then lose this
admirable being? I have longed for a friend; I have sought one who
would sympathize with and love me. Behold, on these desert seas I have
found such a one, but I fear I have gained him only to know his value
and lose him. I would reconcile him to life, but he repulses the idea.
"I thank you, Walton," he said, "for your kind intentions towards
so miserable a wretch; but when you speak of new ties and fresh
affections, think you that any can replace those who are gone?
Can any man be to me as Clerval was, or any woman another Elizabeth?
Even where the affections are not strongly moved by any superior
excellence, the companions of our childhood always possess a certain
power over our minds which hardly any later friend can obtain.
They know our infantine dispositions, which, however they may
be afterwards modified, are never eradicated; and they can judge
of our actions with more certain conclusions as to the integrity
of our motives. A sister or a brother can never, unless indeed
such symptoms have been shown early, suspect the other of fraud
or false dealing, when another friend, however strongly he may
be attached, may, in spite of himself, be contemplated with suspicion.
But I enjoyed friends, dear not only through habit and association,
but from their own merits; and wherever I am, the soothing voice
of my Elizabeth and the conversation of Clerval will be ever whispered
in my ear.
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